Nice try, but fixing a patch in the road doesn’t make it “your” road. By that account I could have saved a bunch of money on the house I just bought by putting a new roof on it before moving, then kicking the owners out because it was now my property. Come to think of it, I probably should have tried that...

To be fair, most people who want lower taxes have absolutely no idea how anything at all works beyond their ability to complain about lower taxes. If you showed them a state, township, or even federal government spending chart their eyes would immediately glaze over and they’d be thinking about season 48 of America’s…

But lower taxes, AMIRITE!?

Don’t forget that he nearly got killed on 9/11 because he had the city’s emergency command center installed in the shadow of the WTC—the very highest-profile target in the city!—because he wanted to use it as a love nest but wife #3 (then merely a mistress) didn’t want to have to schlep to Brooklyn to get it on.

It’s like the political universe had to get back for “No Drama Obama” by giving us this fucking Katrina-sized shitstorm of non-stop scandal to restore balance or something.

Are you kidding? Whenever I need a lesson in morals my first stop is an old Catholic dude with multiple divorces. They’re such good people.

Considering his biggest “controversy” was looking good in a tan suit

The people calling for a new Reign of Terror always imagine themselves running it, not it running over them. They’ll probably learn the hard way.

I’m sorry, there’s just not enough brain bleach in this world.

DUDE! WTF!?!?

100% BBC cuckold porn and no one is surprised.

Married his cousin, was schtupping his press secretary while married to his second wife - after telling the press he was returning to Gracie Mansion that Fathers Day to play ball with his son while he was literally fucking this woman in the basement of city hall - then divorced said second wife on television because…

my man married his (second) cousin so I’m guessing it rhymes with “spin fest”

Giuliani probably thinks you need to wear a condom to ensure you don’t contract VPN.

Strange that the candidates are mostly at least double the minimum age requirement. One of the things that people seemed to like about Obama was that he was (comparatively) young and dynamic. Now they’re all in the target age demographic for Fox News.

As I understand it, their use of the word “fair” is to describe the skin tone of their staff.

What the fuck is this? First of all, after the absolute destruction Monique Judge put to Hamilton over that bullshit article, one which he apparently hasn’t recovered from, I’d avoid even inching down the road that Obama’s not performing up to your silly expectations. Do you want to go two and a half weeks without an…

You talk about bypassing the democratic system and declaring yourself leader for life, while ruling the country with in iron fist, ONE TIME, and suddenly everyone starts calling you a dictator.

How was that a slip up? I thought Fox was fair and balanced.