Once again, a soccer story that ends with no scoring.

If Ben wants to fuck off to Cambodia forever, that would be Phnompenhal.

lol

I can attest to this.

I once again got through the entire post without seeing my father’s name or email address. It’s only a matter of time, though.

It’s almost like someone already figured out all the business logistics for this kind of business, how to pay employees and how to structure fares in order to make a profit. But shit, they weren’t tech bros, they were just a bunch of blue collar nobodies so that doesn’t count.

Wanna bet Uber could have made a fortune…

actually when you win it’s good

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

Some men pay a lot for that kind of thing in Moscow.

Missed the WYTS deadline for this year, but four weeks ago the corporate entity that I pretend to work at while they pay me a meager wage decided to bring in a celebrity speaker to get us excited about filling out our TPS reports. Being Chicago, they hired Mike Ditka. After a painful incoherant 15 minute speech, that…

The man was the .gif that keeps on .giffing.

The NFL just isn’t the same without him.

No way does a storm trooper actually throw a pitch into the strike zone.

only the best sports content here at deadspin dot com

Thank you for remaining laser-focused on sports. 

As a person who follows the NFL, I will just say that this might not be the path you want to go down.

A coffin looks classier than a roller coaster, that doesn’t mean I’d rather spend time in a box.

“I for one would like it if people stopped thinking about my safety.”

Exactly! There’s a whole damn movie starring a two-time Oscar winner called ‘Remember the Titans’ and still people can’t