As a person who follows the NFL, I will just say that this might not be the path you want to go down.

A coffin looks classier than a roller coaster, that doesn’t mean I’d rather spend time in a box.

“I for one would like it if people stopped thinking about my safety.”

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

Exactly! There’s a whole damn movie starring a two-time Oscar winner called ‘Remember the Titans’ and still people can’t

The most damning thing I can think of about the Titans is that, on any Sporcle quiz in which you need to identify NFL teams, the Titans are always the least-guessed.

“Told him he was bad at it” - Mrs. Hutchings.

not just sports media; the New York Times itself spent all of 2016 hyping butter emails

Do you hear the people sing? Singing a song of 6 and 10. That is your ceiling, you forgotten, burning river town in Hell. When the beating from the Jets sets up a beating by the Rams, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel when the Ravens come.

So that’s would have happened if I have invented the finglonger.

H/T to former Deadspin video editor Tim Burke for showing Simone’s routine in super slo-mo.

I appreciate how this bold young man is calling Ross out on the mission of the charity. It’s like:

What teams are doing is entirely rational, and that’s the problem. It makes perfect sense to hedge rather than going nuts chasing a 10% chance at making a full divisional playoff round. And it makes perfect sense to covet years of team control, even if you’re a very good team, rather than trade years of production for…

Someone better warn John Elway not to go grazing out there.

Im glad Fangio's kidney stones made headlines since that's the best passing the Broncos will see all year. 

So I’m bored at work......

I know you’re just teasing him, but Elway has proven time and again that he’s the glue that holds this team together. 

Everything that happened before she said no was done without consent, so yes. Assault.