Counterpoint: We’ve always hated losing in heartbreaking fashion, but we walk away quietly and perhaps break something in private (I have four generations of proof to back this up). At least this year, some of the bandwagon will dissipate and walk away too.

I actually throw passes with a mini nerf football. The recliner is my #1 receiver, and it’s not even close.

Bush as a band consisted of three chords and a rhyming dictionary. The most underrated band of the 90s is Alice in Chains, because as esteemed as they are, they are not esteemed nearly enough.

Maryland’s driving test is sending 16 year olds across the state line. They get their license after causing an accident. 

Its amazing how men always know exactly how they would react and exactly what they would do if they were ever forcibly raped by a man (let alone a very famous man) when its something they have no reason to ever worry about.

I say “aunt” differently depending on whether I’m talking about “aw-nts” in general or my “ant” Jill specifically,

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Anybody want to take a guess at how BLOTUS will manage to shit the bed on 9/11? I figure a whole lot of hate tweeting Hollywood and probably accusing Ilhan Omar of having masterminded the attack.

I found this story much more affecting than I had anticipated. Thanks! I have two teenaged daughters who are big into martial arts, who also enjoy the physicality of it and love to show off their own bumps and bruises, so that really resonated.

I saw the flyers for that a while back, and it’s pretty neat stuff. I’m glad they have a league to play in, and hope they win the lawsuit.

so i’ve always thought this for rugby but I guess it applies to football as well.

In case anyone did not get the reference to a 28 year old SNL skit:

Yeah, when I read that I thought, “If anyone is an authority on being fucked in the head, it’s Drew!”

sounds like a happy, fun guy...probably ballsy as well.

Yes, it’s Mike Mayock! The football sensation that’s sweeping the nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!

Listen up, America - this statement:

Now if he finished the night off with 12 hot dogs, half a dozen cigars and 3 hookers, he'd have equaled the Babe's stats

If there’s one thing we as readers (me included) should do, more often, it’s tell all of you how much we enjoy your contributions to this site, to other projects (like D&JAM), and to our lives in general. Deadspin has been a daily stop for me for ten years now, and it’s because of the great content this site has…

Thank you very much for this. I have had a very difficult time getting myself to do anything the last couple weeks, so the encouragement is very much appreciated.

I second this. Roth is one of the best contributors to this site (and this, too, is worth mentioning), and his stuff is spot on, 100% of the time.