This is why I cum here. Thank you for reminding me that deadspin can deliver the money shot.

You really when the whole nine on this one. How long did it take to bang this out?

After all he did for Philly - I think he was shafted.

Any team that acquires him as their foundation is well prepared: as we all know, there's nothing more stable than a three-legged stool.

Look, you can’t just go around bad-mouthing Celine Dion and not expect there to be consequences.

Staff comment.

We’ll handle the puns here Dom, thanks.

After aiming high and hard last year the Eagles dropped down 5 1/2 inches, er games this year.

It was a solid, hard to beat QB unit with both Wentz and Foles, but though not as versatile in their explosiveness, I think the Eagles can get her done. Um, ‘er. ‘Er done.

Sometimes, it all works out innuendo.

A hundred dick jokes and you couldn’t fit a girth joke in there Dom? SHAME ON YOU.

Is Philly going to erect somethng in his honor?

i feel like this must be some kind of record for dick jokes per unit word

Robert Kraft: [hugs]

Nope, they are yours now.

You forgot about Eric, but then again, so does his father.

I too am a billionaire if you estimate the value of my brand at $4 billion. Please don’t make me own the Bills.