(a) Despite his flaws, I believe that, unlike Price, Caraway actually gives a shit about his constituents. That’ll be a huge improvement for the district.

Harry Caray, NFL talent scout.

It’s a simple question. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?

Sounds like what we call Daddy Long Legs here. Brainless little creatures with super long legs that I most remember finding huddled in clumps in the corner of washrooms when we went camping when I was little.

“As the equation explains, a baseball’s backspin gives it the lift it needs to leave the park, but its trajectory and force rely on the batter’s grit, determination, and ability to play the game the right way.”

You’ll shoot your eye out!

Mine suddenly became scared of a spider once (where she hadn’t before), so I picked it up (it was a tiny harmless one) and let her watch it crawl over my hand. Then I realized that was too far in the other direction, and had to tell her not to do that without checking with me first. We do occasionally get brown…

There are few things that I have been ruthlessly truthful about though. We have a pool in our back yard. And I think I saw a statistic that pools are the number one means of accidental death among children under a certain age. So it was pretty much, “never never never never go to the pool by yourself or you could…

According to an inane article on Buzzfeed that I only read because the baby keeps me up at night and I only have the mental capacity to read Buzzfeed at 2:30, Kourtney Kardashian once didn’t use one of their bathrooms for two months because she saw a spider in it. I hate that kind of behaviour. It's NOT cute! Yet…

It’s a recurring column — there’s time to cover ALL of the fuckery!

I was just going to say the second best thing you can do for a daughter is teach her to take risks and the best thing you can do is teach her Krav Maga... but I like your story better! Fucking right!

Geniune question re: the statement that Dallas’ white politicians routinely ignore South Dallas. Is SD not also ignored by their own representatives, who have a lot of power in the city? It seems that it’s not just the white politicians, it’s all of them. Someone with a better understanding of Dallas politics can…

“a city with delicious tacos, homicidal drivers, and the most thrillingly corrupt, fucked up, dysfunctional local politics imaginable”

Wow. Price has been around FOREVER. I remember him from living in Dallas in the 80s. Back then, I remember some used to call him whirlpool. Not only for always being at the center of some chaos or other, but also for his “laundering” abilities.

Exactly what I was thinking.

“Nala, NOOOOOOO!”

Toonces, the Cat Who Could Select a Playlist

That cat is very chill considering her owner appears to be taking pictures of her instead of looking at the road

Makes a hell of a lot more sense than selling them outside grocery stores and restaurants where I see them selling here in Texas. I mean, I just ate a plate full of pancakes. You REALLY think I’m going to buy cookies?

Whatever. Back in my day we sold cookies the old fashioned way: with cheesy musical numbers and celebrity cameos.