Selling his wares from the MYSTERIOUS ORIENT.

That’s the joke but yes

I’d suggest doing a lot of pectoral and abdominal exercises to excess with inadequate hydration; and overeating eating a lot of spicy, acidic, and oily food, and foods which cause gas, too.  That way you can familiarize yourself with non-heart-related causes of chest pain so you can rule out the real deal.  

That’s just a larva trying to get comfortable.

I am constantly afraid that I’m having a heart attack whenever I have any sort of pain in my chest. Since women’s symptoms can be different than men’s, I’m not really sure what a heart attack would actually feel like for me. Luckily I’ve never had anything that rises to the level of pain that would probably happen…

It’s always Spader Time 

MOAR SPADER CONTENT PLS

Top notch Kinja.

When reached for comment Brian Kemp confirmed he has opened an investigation into the Democratic Party of Georgia to get to the bottom of this.

I would happily take delicious Bit O’Honey over the chalky digestive aids known as Smarties and/or Necco Wafers

Cut to the chase. 

I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We’re looking up “money laundering” on Lifehacker.

If Tupac is alive...then whose ashes did I smoke in that blunt???

I was hoping for a Kid Icarus reference in the sense that the protagonist is briefly turned into an eggplant. 

The whole scenario of casting a bunch of real life people as now generic young “sexy” sim characters sounds like a really fucking stupid idea from day one.

Honestly, with all the scandals and such and how things have been called.

I’d be the last guy to defend Chevy Chase because the guy is clearly an asshole, but his assessment of today’s SNL isn’t too far off.

In the other, Anderson Cooper, a famous journalist and scion of the vast Vanderbilt empire.

Not enough. If he had, Australia would be the 51st state by now.

I love your comment, and I love your chat handle.