If this must be done, then Megan Hilty or bust. No Katharine McPhee allowed.

Texts from my goofy Dad:

My mom is 50 Shades of Meh, so luckily I struck gold in the dad department.

My dad spent as much of my childhood grounded as I did for being the mastermind behind whatever shenanigan had landed my in hot water. He was always actively trying to make the things I imagined come to life. In fact, the two crossed paths one day during the summer when I was about 6 when my dad offered to help me…

It’s possible Jimmy Hoffa is stashed under one of mine. No way to be sure.

Oh god. I actually perfected a Stupid Human Trick where I can hunch my shoulders so my collarbones form these sort of bowl depressions, fill them with seeds and taught my parrots to eat out of them. These bitches on Instagram can’t top THAT. LOL

That reminds me of middle school, when people were like “you only have big boobs if you can hold a pencil under them!!!!” I got my boobs early, so I was like “shit bitch give me that pencil CASE and watch this!!”

When I was a young kid (not that young actually, but we’re going with young) I used to get all my money changed to quarters and carry it around in a money pouch and pretend I was rich and also in the middle ages or something.
This is not relevant to your story but I thought I would share.

it was literally the next best thing to ‘LOL THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO’ for the dnc to release

i did what i could for you.

And Rachel Dolezal is a better actor than both of you, bitch!

Goddamn it Ann. You are a detestable asswipe, but there you go, saying something I enjoy reading said.

My grandpa in Germany in 1947, I love the ridiculous pipe.

My daddy! It’s been ten years in January since I lost him. Ten long goddamn years. It still hurts like I lost him yesterday. I love this photo of him. And my god, did he love his job. After he died, his coworkers found the jacket in the picture hanging on the back of a chair in the terminal. They had it framed in a…

Dad (looking like he’s about to bust into “There is Nothin’ Like a Dame!”) in a rowboat somewhere in the South Pacific, 1944. He mailed his new bride (Mom!) all kinds of pics, with notes on the back. I’m trying to find and post the one that shows him posing in his dress whites, sitting on a bench in Hawaii. The…

I just want news stories with people being nice to each other. I'm slowly becoming my grandmother

I’m torn because while I agree with this...in fact I was pretty pissed that I’ve had friends completely erase my bisexuality and make it seem like any time I expressed my interest in women that I was doing it for attention....and now they all seem to be jumping on the “omg look at me questioning my sexuality lolol”…

I love this series like I love cooking shows: I’m never going to do it myself but, goddamn, I’m impressed with the results and love watching the process!