Absolutely true antipodean story:

I have so many questions:

If you disable the airbag sensors first, it should be capable of its intended off-roading of bumping over a curb and driving across a narrow grass strip because you’re too impatient to wait in line to leave the mall and have an extreme off-road beast!

I understand it. I just counsel against it.

Healthy drinkers use alcohol to enjoy life more thoroughly. Unhealthy drinkers may get a temporary boost but life is worse for their drinking.

“I AM SCREECHING”

Seriously though, when your name has become a running punchline on the internet for a guy who’s never met some iron oxide he couldn’t see the potential in... it might be time to ask why that is and if you want that to be who you are.

The first step is admiting you’re David Tracy.

I was going to go with “When David Tracy starts nuzzling up against it, rubbing it with his scent glands.”

Scottish Twitter suggests the colonies love British things twice as much when they only understand one word in three or four.

“Southwest officials have reaffirmed that the comfort and safety of their passengers is their number one priority”

I translated for the colonists. They’re all Me, Me, Me and can’t handle words with U in them. ;)

My favorite giant flaw with the wall is that it’s planned to be huge, massive, maybe even thirty or forty feet tall!...

I like the matching leather jackets. It’s like someone decided it was passed time we had a boy band marketed just for dads.

Cricket for Americans...

Funny how the only “fields” are Montgomery -field and Gillespie -field are all airfields not the crop variety.

That third rail makes all the difference. But the important thing to remember is there were very fine people on both sides. Apparently.

“What is it about California and planes suffering mechanical failure only to land in the middle of a highway? It seems like Cali is the only state where this is a regular occurrence.”

I see you cunningly did not watch the video before snarking at other people.

My favorite part of the video clip is the end...