Hey, they have a fighting chance. The kids are only packing AR15s.

Wayne LaPierre's kids will be bummed.

Terrible film, but it does offer Nick Nolte and Omar Epps discussing "Fairyland".

What will it take for that to get a DVD release?

Aww crap. This has quickly moved into must-see territory for me, I'd hate to see it get the axe.

I'm still hoping for another Haywire film.

Why fight the urge?

The best performers is very rarely ever recognized. The "importance" of award season only ever leads to bizarre arguments like Zero Dark Thirty vs. Lincoln and the NY Post comparing Lincoln to Bush 43.

No, I imagine someone named The Colonel wouldn't find anything illuminating in a film about slavery. Killer Joe though…

Good luck in your future endeavors, Keith. You've done great here.

Good luck in your future endeavors, Keith. You've done great here.

Off-screen: Captain Morgan pose

Off-screen: Captain Morgan pose

How did they convince Jessica Biel to play a woman that loves me?

How did they convince Jessica Biel to play a woman that loves me?

You should have stayed after the credits.

Did you really need to buy out the entire restaurant to try out your goatee in public?

Did you really need to buy out the entire restaurant to try out your goatee in public?

It may sound like a stereotype that needs to be corrected, but I've never met any non-friendly Canadians.

It may sound like a stereotype that needs to be corrected, but I've never met any non-friendly Canadians.