According to Putin

All try, few succeed.

Stupidity is a powerful force.

Hi Tom!

Nobody has better comments than you.

Words are hard

1. read lifehacker

you worry too much

does your kid look like an asshole?

I am unwilling to grant you insulation from criticism because you need to be reminded that you are talking about a child.

dude, mothers are sacred.

What (historical)president would you like to see in charge?

It was meant to be a joke about stereotypes.

Keep farting

Isn’t it supposed to make you mellow?

Somebody should tell jeff it adds an inch.

“The First Lady memorialializes her first year.”

Tell mrs Dollars 1/20 said hi.

the next 40(?) years are going to be tough for you

“may I give you a kiss” “don’t ask, just do it”