Arsenal fan here. Just want to preemptively state that regardless of Europa and Champions League outcomes, Tottenham have had the better season—unless they somehow squander the +8 goal differential that they have going into the final weekend.

Are you implying that ballistas that can be reloaded in seconds, fire from any angle with zero recoil, and shoot missiles with such force that they shatter the hull of a warship are somehow magical?

The problem I had with the ballistas is simple physics; with the amount of force required to launch those bolts at that velocity, why didn’t the ships recoil?

I think you’re wrong. If you look at the bags under his eyes and his messy hair,  the implication is that he’s been staying up late for two or three whole days, maybe a week to figure out something that has escaped all of the great thinkers of the world since the beginning of science.

The Giants won 2 SB’s b/c they had a talented defense and a QB that somehow threw two miraculous passes.  

The movie had two goals. Both goals were achieved.

You’re that guy, aren’t you. I’ve heard about you.

i know you’re joking here, but I actually think the reason Eli has ever had any success whatsoever is because he’s an objective idiot who forgets everything the moment it happens. 

I feel like there’s an Andy Reid “ate too much” and “tape worm” joke here but I can’t seem to make it work.

That’s why Eli can’t be defeated by Belichick’s traditional methods. You can’t confuse the perpetually confused.

“Just switch to paste, like I did” - Eli Manning.

I refuse to put too much thought into these movies because it defeats the point but what bugged me was one of the main plot points is Tony Stark is able to invent time travel in one night? 

People in Boston complaining about another person’s accent is like Donald Trump complaining about another person locking children up in concentration camps.

Honestly, I’d have an easier time believing Euron pulled that magical dragon-controlling horn mcguffin from the books out of his ass and took control of Rhaegal than having the ultimate weapon in this war end up being ‘dumb fucking crossbows’.

If you’re a sports fan and watched Liverpool/Barca yesterday and this game today and still think soccer/football is a shitty game then you might just be an asshole.

Truly, nobody cuts to the heart of what a oafish buffoon Trump is quite like you, David. This had me in stitches:

Yet more indisputable evidence that everyone who voted for this clown is either an idiot, an asshole, or both.  There is no other possibility.  

And that’ll make things, can you imagine this incredible coach with that little asset?

yeah, no, you’re wrong. If you think the parent of that kid doesn’t know what a terror the child is being, then your head is crammed so far up your ass you can floss with your chest hair. 

I would just like to say that if the Orange Dumbsicle happens to have a massive Left-sided stroke that takes out Wernicke’s and Broca’s area rendering him unable to speak or comprehend words (I know the last one is redundant), I would not shed one tear.