I used to read this all the time when I was a kid. I think my brother still has some stashed somewhere.

is it me or is she sorta laughing a bit in the mugshot?

Pence: Lord, please give me a sign.

Anyone else think Hamilton was trying to make a joke about Sony?

I actually agree with every single one of these. All of them (including the Volvo) peaked my interest at one time or another.

Was his name JaredFogle-san?

you know... i would love to see the follow up to see what actually happens to this kid. in reality, he did the worst of the best things to do in that situation.

was he an only child or homeschooled... or both?

“Fuck me.” is the correct reaction to a situation where you prevent someone from causing something that may have haunted you for years. I’ve never seen someone get hit by a car in person, but I’m sure I’d poo a little bit from the shock.

That’s something a cop w—

that name sounds like he was in one of key & peele east/west bowls

I’ve seen some pretty egregious grammar/spelling sins on Jalopnik and its sibling sites, so I think this minor error is forgivable.

Sounds like he’s done some engine computer modding. Doesn’t quite sound like a normal legacy 3.6r.

and a skid plate in the front

+1 for the reference to trypophobia. the internet newbies are in for a treat.

came here for this...

actually i don’t usually buy water bottles

actually i don’t usually buy water bottles

what the duck?

yeah... as soon as I saw danville, i knew it was bullshit. this crap doesn’t surprise me at all. i’ve gotten pulled over twice in and around danville and the cops are dicks. they’ve still got that boss hogg and roscoe p coaltrain (sp?) mentality there, that’s why i avoid that part of the state. plenty of other nice…

+1 for the penny & lil penny reference