You're right! Rock on with your sprouts.

She clearly yanked herself up by her overpriced bootstraps.

I can’t do Brussels sprouts, not even cooked with bacon. I’m totally down for asparagus and spinach, though.

Awesome! ...and that makes me feel better about my inability to resist taking shots at Goop. She just provides such constant low-hanging fruit for everyone to poke fun at.

Contrary to my dinner tonight, I love veggies and greenery, but kale just tastes like weed-y, bitter sadness to me.

Only for special occasions. It’s so hard to find a dry cleaner that doesn’t give it back to me all stretched out and wrinkled that isn’t expensive. I’ve got some herbs I found in the back of my cupboards that I can just cram up there until next 4th of July when I have my vagina professionally dry-cleaned in honor of…

It's funny how that works! I bought three books used on Amazon, shipping from two different places and it still cost under $30.

Damn me and my love of carbs and my intense dislike of kale, causing my financial ruin and failure to purchase world-class, inspired, and spiritually-sound bookmarks!

They’re adorable. I want those two to have the most fun marriage ever.

A $30 bookmark? No thanks. I’d rather buy groceries and more books and use a strip of junk mail envelope as a bookmark.

Gwenyth lost me with “I’m incredibly close to the common woman” so I admit that anything to do with her overpriced Goop-ness is now incredibly funny to me. I can’t and won’t fault her parenting, but I can think she is ridiculous with her lifestyle bs. I dedicate my fried chicken/stovetop stuffing dinner, and bag of…

I’m looking forward to Carson talking about how he actually won the Iowa Caucus by sheer force of his famous surgeon powers and by chasing the other candidates with a hammer.

Your move, Kris.

That poor child. I don't have the words for what this makes me feel. Maybe just the misplaced hope that the apologists leave this alone. I'm done, no more internet for a while.

This circus and that massive clown makes me miss The West Wing so much. CJ would wreck him. *disappears into her happy place*

Speaking from personal experience- I thank people for sincere offers of prayers. It’s not my thing, as I’m an atheist too, but if I want to be left alone to my own beliefs I can’t be a jerk to someone sincerely offering comfort in a way they know to give it.

Add me to the list of people that miss that show.

Goddamn she’s strong. My mom has stage 3 cancer (doing well!) and there are days where the thoughts keep me from going to the grocery store, let alone performing live. My heart is hurting for her.

Last time I was checked out things were normal but I’ll make note. Usually though I just have two days of garbage guts and today is just day one. I'm glad they caught it and you're ok!

Ok now I have to check to see if they have the original Ghost Adventures, the very first one. That one actually creeped me out.