I’m super impressed the dude counts bullets. I thought Archer was the only one who does that.

Matt, thank you for wording this how you did. Too many people associate “terrorism” with large scale attacks, forgetting that millions here live in a constant state of terror simply because they’re a minority.

Not one for feeding trolls, but I’ll make an exception for your dumbass.

So it’s terrorism when a brown person shoots a bunch of white people because they “hate us” but it’s not terrorism when a white person shoots brown people for the same reason?

Please feel free to use it when the Wings play any of the Pennsylvania teams.

Wait. The main point of that story is to be welcoming to refugees and the homeless? I thought it was to always accept gifts from wise dudes who travel in three.

That’s a Mogwai.

[polite applause]

When driving home after work, I generally sit in the right hand lane near the speed limit (70mph on I75 north of Detroit) as I’m not in any real hurry and traffic is light.

A few years ago a group of us went to Montreal for the Grand Prix. We got up around Thursday, began serious drinking as soon as we hit the hotel and by Saturday afternoon we decided to nurse our hangover with a trip to an indoor karting track. We were rather disheveled looking and once at the track the thoughts of the…

This story kinda makes me seem like a dick, and I was a dick. However, the satisfaction endorphin dump was FANTASTIC.

Less than nine bullet points. He just might read that (especially since it is about him.)

BLM has been temporarily subsumed by the bigger protests and activism against the wave of hatred and proto-fascism seeking to take over the country and ruin everyone’s lives.

So witches float and wizards sink?

Yes, but they were in AMERICA. In America, we clamp down on your hand like a vice, stare directly into your eyes as a display of dominance and shake until a little bit of poop falls out.

In some ways, it still amazes me that 60 million+ people thought he was qualified for this position. Then, I turn on the TV in the morning and hear Stephen A. Smith yelling, and drive to work behind some guy going 55 in the left lane on the highway while listening to some guy on sports talk radio talk about what he…

Always remember: Bad schools make future Republicans! If don’t bother to teach kids how to think, they won’t bother to learn. This locks in your base for the next generation.

We’re gonna send that nuke to Taaaaaajiiikastaaaaaaaaaan!!!