Good God, Tomsula’s lifehack this week is disgusting and quite possibly one of his best yet.

Why do you hate the troops?

Can they?

“Great Moments in Poop History” eventually just became “Long, Boring & Fake Stories About Pooping”

God has no sense of SPACING and I resent Him for it.

There are dozens of us Olds on Jalopnik! Dozens!!!

I had such big plans to drive one of these to my high school reunion. Yeah...I would become the man I always knew I could be.

Sorry dude, but that car is the most ugly plumber’s van I’ve seen so far!

Weren’t they actually making that for awhile? The Grand Mac or something?

Again, I ask you, WHY IS THIS MUTHERFUCKER TAKING TWO SHOWERS A DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF A DROUGHT?

I’ve got one too.

As a kid playing this, I was so annoyed at first that he wasn’t with Quistis until I realized that she was too mature for him. She figured her shit out. She was a powerful mature adult woman who liked whip play and she had a thing for him but realized pretty quick that he never had the maturity to get into the same…

I’d also say, and by no means want this to come off as me trying to take away from the magnificent point being made here, that Squall’s character arc is just as influenced by both the friendships he makes—literally everyone in the party dumps on him for being an asshole, including NPCs like Cid and Laguna—and the…

...

Whatever

Fuck it.  Let’s die on this hill.  The double quarter pounder is fucking delicious. 

All I understood from this is he is dating a woman named Olivia.  Can someone please translate?

And for anyone saying that this wasn’t a pattern of repeated behavior:

I grew up in a place where he had a home, and he was well-known for pursuing my classmates in high school. Yes, all of us 14-17 year-olds swooned over the prospect of being picked up by him at a local concert or at the beach, because we were…

Luke’s near kill with that backhand blow to Vader’s shoulder has always cracked me up from a, “What could have been,” perspective. A couple of inches higher and...