That’s because Thunder Dan is the fucking man

Yeah, what the fuck? I have never once had a store-bought tomato sauce that was better than what I can whip up myself in half an hour (for probably cheaper). People complain about fast food burger tomatoes being flavorless and without merit, but that’s nothing compared to what happens to them in a jar of marinara…

It’s also completely different loads on the pulmonary and respiratory systems. Exploding for a sub-5 second 40 is all anaerobic. To keep a decent pace going for 35 minutes is much more aerobic. Not to mention the fact that gaudy short sprint times require a lot of muscle.

Sprinting and distance running really do work differently. I won MVP of my 8th grade cross country team, and the same year they had to let me do the shuttle run twice in gym class so I could pass it.

Alex Smith

What? A 7 minute mile is really slow compared to any sort of sprint. A six second 40 works out to like a 4 minute mile.

I’ve died on this saucy hill before and I’ll gladly do it again — quit buying jars of tomato sauce! You have to boil the water to make the pasta, so let’s be honest: this isn’t a time issue. A can of crushed tomatoes, some olive oil, some freeze dried garlic and spices — these are all easy things to keep around. Just…

low flying plane?

My grandmother & her sisters were named Virginia, Tennessee and Georgia. They were born in a log cabin in the Ozarks. No, this is not a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

There is absolutely zero fucking chance that a millionaire who ran in NYC’s upper social circles in the 70's and 80's never did a line, ZERO.

$10 for a jar of marinara? Must be nice being part of the 1%

Beer: Zero

Sudafed is his drug of choice, allegedly.

I go back and forth on that. I can see him drinking pills right from the bottle, but I can also see him being a Tom-Cruise-style scientologist type who thinks that any medicine is weakness. Especially the ones which have vaguely foreign-sounding names.

I actually believe Trump when he says he’s never had a drink or taken drugs. His brother died from alcoholism, after all.

So we agree that Trump has likely never smoked weed, but he’s for sure taken enough perscription pills to kill most of the race horses on Earth, right? I mean, I see him doing that and not counting it as “drugs” because it was from a doctor, or some sort of “medical person” who told him it would increase his manliness…

This knocked out 9 people from my survivor tournament.  Down to 15 from the initial 62.  Of course this is the same Colts who got me out last week because the Raiders beat the Colts...so whatever.  

As a sidenote, this game had probably the most insane offensive pass interference penalty I’ve seen since Gronk’s glory years. You know it is bad when neither commentator nor the rules expert can come up with a way how it is OPI, and yet somehow the review upheld the penalty.

Seems like winning isn't real high on his list of priorities, frankly.

You would think that someone who cares about nothing but winning football games would be better at doing so.