My childhood was constrictive with strict parents that never let me go anywhere, forced me to do things I didn’t want to do, and shamed me constantly for not measuring up to other kids and their accomplishments. Adulthood wins by a MILE. Bonus: you’re not fucking broke all the time.

Having a Jared worked out so well for Subway...

Pity the JustJared name is already trademarked.

He went to Jared...

I have to get off a shitty overnight commercial flight and be functional in a second language for a meeting at 8 am and this fucking clown can’t even do dinner? Give me a fucking break.

I watch Madam Secretary every week worrying how poorly Trump would handle these plausible fictional situations. I keep thinking “they handled that crisis cleverly, I don’t think Trump would have a clue.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for defending Director-level and CEO-level positions in most companies - they’re often damned hard 70 hour+ weeks and essentially 24/7 on-call, at a level that is beyond the vast bulk of people.

This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this person.

How about in reverse? When I first started dating my husband, I had one of the most embarrassing meet the parents experiences ever. They were in town and staying at a hotel down the street. We had plans to meet them for lunch, so we woke up and he got in the shower. His mom decided it would be a good idea to…

When I was in high school I dated an absolute zero of a guy because you HAD to date someone and he was available. Nerdy, zitty, bad hair - the whole works. So I bring him home to meet the folks and he decides to “lighten the mood” with a really bad ethnic joke with a punchline of “Spic and Span”. My mother was…

I was nicely paid, which made it all worth it. I learned a lot about nutrition and my eating habits. It was definitely an experience.

My mother in law was visiting the house and was helping us watch our daughter so we could sleep in a little bit. We were both feeling a little frisky so I closed our bedroom door (mostly) and proceeded to have sex.....I’m on top hammering my wife and I hear her mother go “Oh come on _____ lets go downstairs and leave…

I’d imagine it’s to stop the stomach pains from hunger, since they’re on such a strict diet.

I had almost all of your medical symptoms. Then I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and put on meds.

Why the fuck would you WANT to neutralize your stomach acid?! I need that shit to digest my food!!!

We are supposed drink the fancy baking soda mix four times a day to neutralize acids in the stomach.

I see a lot of that alkaline shit on my facebook feed from some of my woke black friends. Different parts of your body operate and different PHs and most of them are acidic. Your body works to regulate that ph level and keep it constant. “Alkaline” diets arent healthy because they are alkaline they are healthy because…

Just a regular reminder that detox like this is not real and has no actual benefits.

Literally sounds like the 3 days I spent prepping for bowel surgery...

My boyfriend needed to drive to his hometown for a reason I can’t remember and his car was in the shop so I offered to drive him. But it also meant that I was going to meet his mother for the first time. (We had been dating probably 6 months at the time.) However, I had just had surgery (on my tongue no less) and even…