I got a dick pic from a wrong number. Dude led with the dick pic, and then said he had a great time at cooking class.

Business can and should involve heart. You’ve still got real people affected by your very real decisions.

Does my dad count? What about my boyfriend’s parents? My college roommate? A car that turned its brights on us? These are all different circumstances but all felt very official at the time.

My favorite random reply to yell at someone is “I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES!”

Me when the news is finally here on this.

That’s her rawk shirt!

And I’m now using 5ever, it’s only fair.

I didn’t. I saw it on a poster at the women’s march :)

I dunno. I like getting laid. Dissent in the streets consent in the sheets.

I read it as him not being able to understand how his grandson could have done this.

Ohhhhmygod her eye roll head shake after she delivers it...I would give someone all of my dollars to hang out with HRC for just one night.

So...do you guys think this is why that screenwriter isn’t texting me back or nah?

Confirming. I went to a ‘karaoke’ night for someone’s birthday in LA and it was inSANE.

That’s fucking amazing. I would love to be the child of hippies like this.

“Oh look, it’s that person! I remember her! Same face!”

I don’t think Neil’s pro-gun. Kind of a peace lovin’ hippie.

Bieber! Bieber!! BIEBER!!!

I read the headline and yelled SAME.

Jenny Slate, I freaking love you. I love your way of expressing. You’re a tiny delightful fucking treasure.