Machete Tacos in Denver has the best Lengua taco I’ve ever had (Pinche is good too), and thats coming from a white guy that orders beef tongue any time it’s available. Also its surprisingly it seems to be the one the taquerias around here run out of most commonly (maybe they just under prepare?). And I don’t mean the…

This was well-written and funny, and if you guys want to be BFFS4EVA with me and do an article about the local Chilis in my suburban Colorado neighborhood I am so down.

See I hated all of Rory’s boyfriends. They all sucked.

god forbid you tell your story without issuing a dozen disclaimers and delineating precisely who fits your definition of “woman”

I think there’s a difference between “you’re naked, therefore you like sex and are a slut” and “there is no reason to show us your naked body under the flimsy pretext of not knowing what to wear as anyone who cares to see you naked has already done so”.

I’m sorry, but you can’t pay a millenial anything decent, because they’ll just spend it on artisinal mayonnaise, vinyl copies of 90s albums, rainbow flag bandannas, and marihuana cigarettes.

After a grueling season, these guys finally get to go home, unwind, and let their skeletons climb out of their skin bags. The skeletons of NFL players get to run around and commit crimes and generally just relax. Blow off steam. Get re-energized. When you get up there in age, it’s harder and harder to coax your…

Just when I thought David Bowie couldn’t get any cooler, I see that.

This is the ad for the adjustible hat.

Well, this is heartbreaking. Love and peace to her family, widow, and son.

She told us about it, but it wasn’t an abortion, see. It was a “procedure.” An abortion is something that a wanton slut gets so that she can have consequence-free sex, usually performed by a cackling lesbian socialist at Planned Parenthood while Slayer plays over the intercom.

Truth, I had 19 abortions this way. Sometimes I wasn’t even pregnant, they’re just so good at it.

No, no, what they mean is, women go in for HIV testing, and then they get the hard sell, and upgrade to an abortion.

‘Well yeah because testing for HIV kills babies! That is sciences!’ -The Governor of Texas

I went with my brother. We got there early, had some bad ass seats. I saw a dude with his date come in late. They were about to split up. My bro and I got up and gave them our seats.....because why not?

Oh god, the autoplay! All three at once? I thought we were friends?!

It could have been worse. Remember that time Miss New Jersey ripped the crown off the head of Miss Rhode Island and then it exploded?

Here’s the difference. If you give a playbook to a smart person with some political acumen and ask them what a given team should do next, the wise answer would be to say something like, “I’m a huge fan, guys, but I think I’ll leave that one to the professionals,” or even, “Sorry, not much of a football fan!”

Remember when Tom Brady had plastic Ken Doll hair and looked like a total tool? I do!

Using stock is a cop out, using zucchini for noodles is (somehow) acceptable.