I'll digest the beans myself, thanks.

Victory is the only condiment I need.

(j/k. tea it up)

COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE

With my luck, I'd pull out the gun and he'd be all...

"My husband died. I moved on eventually. Some British nobleman tried wooing me. I fell for him. We boned in a Liverpool hotel. He asked me to marry him. I said no, and then cut my hair short."

Eww warm underboob wine.

the rampage ep is one of the best eps

OMG BEYONCE HAS PORES?!

Sadly, the amended bill does not seek to ban "public hair." :(

I had a discussion with a man online who repeatedly used the word female, so I asked him if he knew it was offensive to many. He said he did and that's why he used it. I further pressed him and he said he did not view women as human beings and thus deserved the "female" terminology used to describe animals. It was a…

You go, you trailblazer.

Can I divorce myself's deadbeat ass for cheating with me, that bastard?

Start a secret bank account on the side now, just in case. Don't tell yourself about it. You will thank you later.

I prefer to live with myself. I don't need a piece of paper to define my relationship.

Brb pitching that RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

do women even want to be directors tho

Not with that level of sophistication...

They'll ruin your fucking life. Give you that WWI death.