Why. Is. it. Your. Business.

Think of all the power blood red pantsuits I could wear

i regularly find stashed cocaine all over my bedroom so I respectfully disagree

Yes that’s why you should vote for me

On Twitter making bad cocaine jokes about our maybe future president Bc nothing matters!

I made this observation first

Literally who doesn’t pee in the fucking shower

Y’all need to chill the fuck out you’re not eating w your feet and none of you are mouth fucking my toes so

I WOULD WEAR BOTH AND I DON’T EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT

the only armchair psychiatrist I respect is myself and that’s Bc my dad is a psychiatrist so it makes me half a psychiatrist.

Women who use their power and privilege to help people are such a buzz kill AMIRITE

Okay Anna, but Hillary slept with Brad Pitt and personally killed their 6 children with her banshee cry, thus murdering love, Benghazi and the American way with her snake vagina.

Okay but Hillary Clinton coughs a lot.

Can Jonah Hill be their pool boy a lá forgetting Sarah Marshall

9 million dollars says he wouldn’t stop vaping and honestly I don’t blame you Angelina I really don’t.

I remember love in the time of cholera slightly differently I’ll be honest

I work right near where the bombs were found in Elizabeth. My boyfriend works right by Chelsea, and he had to use public transportation today to get there. Same with my sister’s fiancé, and my sister. I am very glad you’re not afraid, but I am. I am afraid the people I love the most in this world will be hurt or…

I’m sorry, wait, they’re trying to rob a blind dude of his settlement money he received after losing his daughter??? And I’m eventually supposed to root for this girl because he ends up being a terrifying kidnapping rapist??????

It’s time for America to reclaim reclaimed barnwood.

I did that but your mom isn't a very talented chef.