Also:

You millennials, always stuck on the latest new things.

Full disclosure: I went to Pittsburgh for a wedding with an ex-girlfriend in September 2015. The wedding itself was actually super classy—bride and groom were both Ph.Ds—so I really thought “hey this might not be a bad trip.”

Yinzer ex-pat here. People are always surprised when I say that I’m the runt of my family because I’m the size of a brick shithouse. Everyone else I’m related to is the size of 2-4 brick shithouses, so this checks out.

if Ben Roethlisberger weren’t an NFL quarterback, he’d be the embarrassing single friend that you no longer invite to social functions because he never brings the same stripper girlfriend and gets raging drunk at rehearsal dinners. It’s not that you don’t agree with your wife about not inviting him, it’s that you feel…

Hardware and software quality aside, Nintendo is becoming such a consumer-unfriendly company.

Between Fan content takedowns, shitty multiplayer [and additional features implementation], ending physical rewards programs and the joy-con drift nonsense, it’s really annoying to be a fan of the company.

I’m a former Lions fan that used to live in Minneapolis. I was enough of a fan of my horrible team and their stupid league that I paid handsome sums to watch them in person on multiple occasions, both in my hometown of Minneapolis and in the squalid, shiny toilet bowl they call Ford Field. As a long-time Minnesotan,…

Man, this sort of shit makes me long for the days when communities were less centralized on only a few platforms. YouTube makes it very easy to upload stuff and get crossover viewers, but it also makes it easy for companies like Nintendo to abuse their power and ruin cool stuff like this.

My experiences at US Bank Stadium (Ranked):

Yea it now occurs to me, for all the shit you’ve talked about Matty Ice this year you follow a team whose QB is “What if Matt Ryan, but worse?”

I did a topo job about thirty years ago, chopping lines through eight foot high palmettos, and every now and again you’d hear this grunting and crashing noise in the jungle, and the good ol’ boys I was working with told me it was wild hogs out there. Which I didn’t believe until I heard that noise coming up behind me…

Dodged a bullet when I was 7 and came home from a trip to the store with my mom excited to show my dad a Mark Rypien jersey I bought with my birthday money. He asked why the hell I’d buy a Rypien jersey, I told him that they won the Super Bowl so they’re my favorite team and he explained that bandwagoning was dumb,…

I cannot fathom a worse way for a game to end! Even this year's snoozefest was way better (even though that was excruciating for its own reasons)

Im not even a Falcons fan! But as a good decent ethical human being, i despise the Patriots much like the Avengers despise Thanos. And seeing them get curbstomped like that was pure literal ecstasy.

I don’t think any football fan outside New England should.

Yea that excised me truly caring, I will never get worked up about the Falcons ever again as long as I live. The one person who wrote in isn’t kidding; I’ve never known in my entire life what it’s like to have a secure 4th quarter lead. I don’t worry they might blow one, I expect it. And boy do they deliver.

I will never forgive these chucklefucks for 28-3. Jesus Christ

“I’m FIFTY!”