It’s just salami. That’s part of what makes the whole thing so hilarious.

we don’t dare switch off, perhaps due to self-sabotage, masochism, fear of being out of touch or a thousand other reasons.

Wyatt and Billy got killed in Easy Rider for less than that. Standards must be slipping down south.

This guy has balls the size of coconuts. Also, I’m printing this out:

Good call on the krav maga. Until men stop being assholes, I think all women should train in a martial art. Not only does it give a physically smaller person the ability to defend against a larger person, but it builds confidence that a lot of girls aren’t raised with.

But what about Maria Sharapova?

I’m confused. How does a hair plug procedure paralyze your vocal chords? I’ve played with the idea from time to time, but I talk on the phone for a living, so..no way. I’ll stick with taking the clippers to my head once a week.

This is why I smoke. Instant relief.

I love where this is going and that we can now actually stop viewing it as a game of he said, she said. This all becomes really simple. If someone comes to your campaign saying they have information that your competition was engaged in something illegal....you don’t go take a fucking meeting with them! You call the…

Well, it is important to hear both sides of an issue.

No! Because of what you yourself just said. Most clothes made for pre-pubescent children is fine for either gender. What’s really being said here is that it’s not OK for boys to wear ruffles or bows. Which is just reinforcing the very thing we’re objecting to.

So...why not just buy the Skye shirt for your boy that the company actually sells? I don’t see why this is an issue until puberty hits and bodies start differentiating.

“They settled down mainly because they stopped talking to me.”

Since it doesn’t seem to have been pointed out yet, soppressata is just fucking salami. Really good salami, but just fucking salami that can be had for 10 dollars a pound. And then smart people open shops to sell sandwiches to snooty morons like David Brooks for 15 bucks.

To be fair, I’ve been drunk enough to not be sure what really happened and what didn’t. That’s probably what happened here.

Sorry, I was making an NSA joke. Which isn’t even a joke, really. I just assume the NSA has every imaginable kind of data about everyone and everything.

They didn’t have all that information already?

I didn’t know “Communist” had become an epithet again. Good times...

Yeah, I’m scratching my head at this pearl clutching we’re doing about Russia, as if we’re on some moral high ground here.

For me, it’s more about all this hair-on-fire saber rattling against Russia. Nothing good has ever come of it but, hey, we always need an enemy in order to terrify the American people into going along with whatever the Mil-Indust-Comp wants. They decided a little while back that Russia is an “existential threat”…