Whites cheering while browns fight? That is so American. How well did that Mayweather Pacquiao fight do?

Hellooo, Chisox

It looks like it comes out white, but quickly turns to black when it oxidizes

Counter-counterpoint: Yesterday I watched my cat totally destroy a mouse. Good cat, this is why I scoop your shit.

If you rub peanut butter on the Elways gums, it will look like he’s talking.

So you’re saying that Altuve is an asshole?

I am firmly in the “Both Pitch Perfect and the Knicks Suck” camp.

Spoiler alert: Mike does not go to college.

The thing is, North is actually right about Mendoza. The mothership should reassign her, and fire Berman for good measure.

All I see is a “high motor”.

He doesn’t need to clean house. All that X-Men money could get him a sweet maid.

Take your penised child to work day.

No. He runs the Electronic Entertainment Expo.

*towel whip + homophobic slur*

With great beard comes great responsibility.

Yadi is somewhere smiling at this.

That’s actually the title of a Ted Cruz biography.

You both misspelled “ruptured eardrum”.

Relax, dude. Michael Jackson died today.