Uhmmm I think the idea of bracelets that synchronize with music sounds like an AWESOME idea, even without them saving lives. I want one.

Be kind to Lil Kim, Makeup and hair products were terrible for black women in the 90’s. All we could do was line our lips with brown eyeliner and hope for the best.

Haven’t at least two stories in the past month run about actual upskirt-photo-taking/subway groping which ended in members of the NYPD being like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The NYPD has been arresting people (mostly minority men, mostly late at night) for “crimes” that are basically minor subway etiquette offenses on empty cars for years. Things that most people wouldn’t think twice about, like putting your feet up on an empty seat, can lead to a ticket for the crime of, and here I shit…

Madeline, this is not the kind of hate I’m used to in America.

Great. Another way for the police to selectively arrest minorities.

Asks for FUCKING DIRECTIONS WHEN OBVIOUSLY LOST.

34. Keeps mad laboratory neat, cleans own twisted glassware, takes equal responsibility for any spawned horror beasts. Looks good in slightly burnt labcoat.

Yes, properly-socialized-human qualities are good things! They make us attractive to others! Why this is worthy of gender specific praise, I am not quite sure. It pains me that “knowing the name of two of one’s friends” is considered sexy. Methinks the bar is mighty low here.

36. Is nice to your mom. Like, brings her a potted plant or some shit like that.

I read #5 as “Is casually good at naps” and was like ‘yeah, I’m into that’.

36. Super smart, cures diseases to life threatening diseases everyday

Gives “which color nail polish?” serious consideration. For fingers and toes.

Does that thing with his tongue.

“Pets a kitten”, “Hugs a baby”, and “Kills a bug” are just listed too closely for those of us without focus.

33. Doesn’t whine

Why, Rock? WHY

Well... :) I meant for it to be a comment on myself, as someone for whom the use of “funner” would actually cause physical cringing. It makes sense, it’s used a lot, it’s fine, especially in a blogging context. But I had some fairly strict training during my English degrees so there is still a bit of a grammar fascist…

I want to applaud your use of “funner.” It made the pedant in me cringe and I can enjoy a piece of writing that makes me feel visceral, raw emotion.