/Orders soy chai latte

I love how according to the cable news people some kind of “trend researchers” found out this is a hot new thing women are into. I want to see the methodology for these studies they’ve conducted, and how they determined women all got together and decided to think the same thing. Because I never got an invitation to…

All people deserve a chance at being respected and deserve kindness. But why should all people and all body types be physically attractive? Are all plants beautiful? Does all food taste good? Is all music listenable?

I’d prefer neither but I’ll take “momshells” over “milfs” if they’re putting a gun to my head.

At least you’re not bald tho, right?

I feel like this whole “dadbod” thing was played out before it even came up. As soon as I heard it, I instantly realized what it was, what it represented, and that I was already exhausted at the prospect of yet another stupid meme going through the rise-heavy use-killed with overuse-resurrection by cable news-final…

Vocabulary word of the day: "Momshells" Please remember the word as there will be test on it for the rest of your life.

perhaps I am a humorless jerk who finds no jokes about physique funny ever, but I just get depressed by all of this. Yes, the way in which culture expects women to look and be is disgusting and sad. But, and this is equally important to me as a fat guy, there are just as many negative connotations for being a fat…

So we’ll sleep like Hobbits. First sleep, second sleep, elevensies, lunch snooze, afternoon nap, supper siesta, dinner doze-off...

Heh.

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

It looks like a failed experiment from the Island of Doctor Moreau. Even I have my limits.

The fact that he tried to go for it and then psychologically just couldn’t handle it is amazing and hilarious and wonderful, and I’m actually willing to forgive him his proclivities for that.

I started bringing home sushi to my little brother when he was 6 yrs old, and after his first taste he couldn’t get enough. While some kids are definitely picky, I think a lot of adults just assume kids wont eat anything other than chicken nuggets and ketchup, or grilled cheese, or whatever. So, they inadvertently…

You are cool and interesting, definitely

I AM LITERALLY DEAD NOW. This is every fear of mine as a new parent. Thank god that titty still tastes good kid.

I thought only gluten caused the explosions!

Gee, I wonder why people who work and live in heavily military communities often have an unfavorable opinion of the average servicemember, while people 500 miles from the nearest base whose closest relation to the military is their stepbrother’s nephew who did 18 months in the Coast Guard and got an other than…

Buuuut, if you can afford to pay $60 for a tab, you should give more than a quarter for a tip.