Man... it's incredible how that van managed to write the majority of the music.

What was great about Martinson (aside from the vocab) is that it truly did read like an unhinged lunatic writing something she didn't expect to get out.

Marrying his girlfriend's daughter is completely fucked up, but I think some of the hairsplitting comes from the fact that it's better to be as accurate as possible with what the charges were. According to pretty much everybody involved, including Mia's own quotes on the matter, Woody barely lived in the house and had…

This one is pretty obvious, but most people don't realize Tommy Lee is an anagram for My Omelete.

Honestly? If my nephew had spent all of '92 going on and on about how the entire world was going to end on a specific Saturday, I'd mock him about it for the rest of his life. Even more than this.

Yep, I'm sure it's as simple as that!

I couldn't agree more. In fact, this brings to mind a favorite vanity plate of mine, which belonged to another Texan: Lyndon B. Johnson

That was total gold. The highlight of the entire flick.

I didn't know we were going to be tested!!!

Vintage naked Jolie. I should Netflix this.

That just about sums this up.

It's very Dr. Strangelove. Casey's Doomsday Device is the Body Slam. But he neglected to tell his entire class about it, thus rendering it useless as a deterrent, and he was forced to use it. I'm also guessing Casey would have preferred the original pie fight ending... or maybe just a slice of pie.

I'm hoping my wife is extremely loud because I plan on Autotuning it.

@jacobestes: Indeed.

I have such a rep for doing this that I don't even need to smash them up anymore. I just walk up to them whistling "The Farmer in the Dell" and they spit out the snacks in fear.

@lonelyinmynightmare: I'm glad I wasn't getting oiled up while reading this. Would have totally killed the mood.

@FavreFAIL: They're actually cheering for Moose.

@AngriestGeek: Yeah, but she's charming, funny and you actually have some empathy for her. That's about the best you can hope for from any of these characters. I think his point is that they were good roles, not necessarily realistic roles.

@AngriestGeek: I'm with you on Keener, but I think it goes without saying that Heigl wouldn't have any friends.

@xequar: The good news is you can see Michigan Central Station in any Michael Bay film. The bad news is you'd be watching a Michael Bay film.