The kid’s still pissed he missed out on the hookers.

“...Help me find my keys and we can drive out of here.” Same guy. True story.

I heard they went there looking for Slurpees.

Nothing to see here. Right, Urban?

Safer still would be to skip the games altogether, also known as the Marlins Maneuver.

The NCAA is pimp life for white men.

True about its degree. That said, there’s a whole lot of cornerbacks who beg to differ.

Every sport does this. Baseball, football, soccer, even horse racing. Enjoy it; it’s part of the fun.

After a tuna sandwich, this would have been at the top of my list.

I heard Mickelson wants to buy it.

Mommy’s serving hot lead for dinner.

Now that she’s killed off her family, she can really devote herself to public service. Good for her!

Oh, fuck off.

Where’s Bruschi when you need him?

You make a powerful argument.

Exactly. You can’t cross chocolate and raisin streams. No chocolate in oatmeal raisin-y things, no raisin in what God only intended for chocolate.

I’ve seen croissants made of tougher stuff.

I put that there for all the other idiots... I mean all the other people ... who might not have had time to read the whole thing.

Thus creating the nine-point touchdown. No thanks.

Don’t think of it as risk, think of it as preparation.