Clearly Haden prefers a 12 step drop.

While we’re at it, fuck Joe Torre. He’s already declared his bias with, ““I certainly don’t feel that he was trying to hurt somebody.”

I hope Sparty wins huge. AF is one dirty team.

It’s already happening. A bear broke into my buddy’s ski house, turned on the stove, and left a giant crepe in the kitchen.

Blake added, “I went to high school with a lot of assholes.”

So he’s screwing his teammates by not allowing them the extra roster spot. Sounds like JPP is giving the Giants two big middle fingers. Which leaves him with seven.

The shitshow must go on.

How come no one at Lego has ever denied that the product is designed to capture and preserve kid snot? What else aren’t they telling us?

A fat chick dancing in a tube top. I’d watch that for hours.

Me too. I got mine online. I can’t even remember where. I’ve had it for at least two years and it still looks new. I’ve got nothing against Le Creuset - I’ve used it often and it’s great - but this works just as well. Maybe it’ll only last for twenty years instead of fifty, which is a problem I’ll deal with in 18…

Well, la-di-fucking-da. Don’t let my polo mallet hit you in the ass.

If cost is no object. But it usually is. I’ve been very happy with my Cuisinart 5 1/2 or 6-qt pot at about one fifth the price of the comparable Le Creuset listed above. ($65 vs $280.)

“It may have stuck in his spine somehow.”

The Woodchippers.

Should we talk about that pig eating his watermelon on wall-to-wall carpeting in somebody’s home? Also, I hate the hippos’ handler.

Carl’s World includes a beauty salon.

Crittenton then said that another horrible mistake was selling drugs to the DEA.

They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.

Well, I’ve learned something today. Never, ever ask a rhetorical question on Deadspin.

Does anyone not get arrested in Maricopa County?