They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.

Well, I’ve learned something today. Never, ever ask a rhetorical question on Deadspin.

Does anyone not get arrested in Maricopa County?

Also worth mentioning - throughout their entire history (both Thrashers and Jets), they haven’t won a single playoff game.

Cincinnati does that to a man.

Get a taco, now half off.

Meanwhile, in China, http://news.yahoo.com/lamborghini-fe…

Yeah, I got blisters in college too.

What's the best part about being a stalker?

A professor and his graduate student teamed up to end their frustration by inventing a product that makes the inside permanently wet and slippery and they called it LiquiGlide. Why is this on Foodspin?

So good my heart skipped a beat.

Burneko, you start the invite list with the hot moms and work backwards. Think, man, think!

"We're gonna need a bigger bed."

My ex-wife is still alive and keeps posting shit about my death on Facebook. Too soon!

But he knows it would be the last baseball he ever threw.

Chapstick's best product.

I'll see you and raise you one Wellington Mara.

When did your love of blog writers begin?

Easy answer on the friend thing. Date his sister. Get her to your place and start banging a headboard against the wall. That ought to about wrap that friendship up.

Sometimes a guy just feels great about his name, a couple of M's, a cool state in there. Mike Montana. Yeah. Then some pretty boy asshole introduces himself and he's got a fistful of K's and a name that sounds like an AK-47 at a Syrian wedding. I guess the moral is you can only push a man so far.