I first thought it might be either Jeter's ball-lickers or Oscar Pistorius's bathroom door, but I'm going to go with Roger Goodell's Dartboard of Justice.

I guess Goodell wants Raiola's kid dead. Must be his first-born.

How much for a starlet with a good attitude?

I think it's actually more of a taunting/showboating issue. Thanks, NCAA!

Did he find Nemo?

Porsche 911. It's working.

Choke mor chikin.

How did they end up at that high school football game?

It's rare to see a preseason game this late in the year.

On the Seventh Day Arrested.

Good info. Thanks.

Agreed, but if he were driving a big sedan, he'd probably be at the stadium right now bitching to the trainer about his fender bender. I wouldn't be surprised if Cam was well over the speed limit if reports of four rollovers are accurate.

The other car is barely damaged, considering the size of Newton's truck. Looks like the car pulled in front of Newton, causing Newton to roll over. Can't tell who's at fault without knowing more. Agree about the brodozer for exactly this reason.

33. The game doesn't end until someone gets hurt.

Twice-baked's. Have them ready to go and then just pop them in the oven.

I'm going to suggest turkey.

Last question: why do people who know nothing about football feel obligated to say stuff that they think sounds football-y? Yes, I have an ex-father-in-law.

You should buy them a whisk for Christmas. (In fairness, a bit of unwhipped cream is good too, which is basically what your Appalachian girlfriend is doing.)

Plus I carve, so I get first crack at the good stuff and bits of skin. (Football method if you're wondering. Also, I like to remove the whole breast and then carve it. Tidier.)

Serious question. Why do people put ice cream on pies loaded with sugar.It's too sweet. I prefer real whipped cream, which takes about 20 seconds to make. Thoughts please.