Husbands.

You're not supposed to eat it. You're supposed to put your dick in it and then have another homeless guy lick it off.

I don't want to live in a world where tits don't matter.

The only proper response to Paula Deen is to throw a ham at her.

Who would win a debate between Ray Lewis and Jesse Palmer?

Tom Hanks approves.

If Rachel Bradshaw looks like Terry Bradshaw, that might explain it.

I vote for Barry White and a close up on Tall Mom.

His dentist should be charged with assault.

Show us some video of people who don't cut their own hair.

Anyone else hear Jimmy Dolan tossing around the n-word?

Two for two. That's next week's starting quarterback walking up those steps.

Duck Duck Gray Duck. The game within the game.

That's a waste of a good beard.

It works because she took a stool softener.

MILWAUKEE-Asked restaurant host: "Guess what's not on the menu tonight?"

Every shed has a few rusty tools.

Valid points. I hadn't known until that trip that rain inhibits vision. I didn't even know it rained in Virginia.

No, I didn't say that. I think it's unfair to inflate 10 mph over the speed limit into 26 mph over the speed limit. Is that unreasonable?

Fuck Virginia. Got an 86 in a 60 in a rainstorm in the middle of the night on I-95. At most, I was going just over 70. Utter and complete bullshit. Not enough traffic to confuse me with some other car. Some state trooper who looked about 15 pulled me over. Reckless driving is >25 mph. Fuck Virginia.