Or that infected orange loogie could have gotten there early and been one of the first in line. You know. Like Tim Kaine did.

I am currently in Singapore for work (home is NE PA), and I have flight anxiety SO BAD that I broke out in hives a week before I left for China. And when I say hives, I mean hives from my ears to the soles of my feet. I live on swigs of Pepto, and sleep is an old dream.

Voting for Ralph Nader. I’m sorry, Al.

I’ll be honest - this is really cool.

Man, fuck this guy sideways with an old stick. He, and his ilk, are all charlatans. They are selfish, self-absorbed ghouls who prey on those broken down by grief. How can you tell? He’s making a profit off his “abilities.”

HAAA! I always say “thank you!”

Definitely improves the more you use it. I have the full on Echo, and was a little flummoxed, at first, for having spent as much on it as I did for what seemed to be a glorified speaker. But it’s been almost a month now, and Alexa has become incredibly intuitive. Not scarily so…

Bobby, you are too kind.

What in the everloving fuck is that couch supposed to be? How do you sit on it? For $52k, does it do the dishes and give you blowjobs?

UGGGGGGGGHHHH. That is just dreadful. You’re like a living Elphaba. :(

I think she actually has. She is part owner of/has been shilling for Weight Watchers (“I. LOVE. BREAD.”), so I think that, although ‘shopped, she did lose weight.

Foot.

Hang on - I have blue hair. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?!????

I admire your parenting style, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

\m/(>.<)\m/

Can I throw “rock fingers?” That’s never not cool, right? Even if I *am* 43?

This. Whenever I see a celebrity do the prayer-hands-bow-down thing when a “greater” celebrity shows up, I automatically think less of that first person.

This, coming from someone called Little Animal? ;)

You get extra stars for excellent username. Uh, Open...Sasparilla?

I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD!!!!