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What about the guy who tweeted that he saw Gilbert, Mav, and James sitting for dinner at the Rusty Pelican in Miami? No matter what, this all feels as meaningful as measuring one's output amidst a bukakke.

Hold the fucking phone. Deadspin poking fun at the quality of any other outlet's journalism or prose is insulting enough to readers. But to expend far more effort and creative thought in such an endeavor than it has on reporting actual stories, cumulatively, in several months is going too far.

I mean, the complete lack of even a rudimentary understanding of our legal system (to say nothing of basic reading comprehension) that's evident in this "reporting" is, frankly, sort of frightening.

Of course you were. Because you're a moron and very easily impressed. The fact that you consider creating a handful of 3-5 word tweets an impressive effort speaks volumes about the level of effort underlying your mindless, dogshit reporting. Recalibrate your expectations a bit and maybe you'll cease to consistently