Long story short? He’s Gladiator with wings and cursed to reincarnate over and over again with his eternal lover for eternity because reasons. The wings (or harness. or belt.) are made from space metal, which is where Space Cop Hawkman comes from.

Fringe much?

Honeycrisps are king to me but I also really enjoy a good Winesap apple as well. 

Red delicious apples are bullshit. They are apple flavor sawdust mush pressed into the shape of an apple. I hate them and I eat at least one apple a day.

Arguing about which apple is best is a pointless exercise because it’s like arguing about which is your favorite Beatles’ song. Ultimately it doesn’t matter. The important thing is everyone agrees that Red Delicious is objectively the worst and stops fucking eating them because they are the one with the “apple shape”…

GOOD. Red Delicious are not delicious and are, in fact, mealy, bland trash. Give me a nice, crunchy, tart Macintosh any day instead.

Look, I’m not a fan of comic book movies, and I’m a film snob, and hell, just look at my name and avatar, but even I rolled my eyes a bit when Hawke invoked Bergman and Bresson.

There is nothing else to be said, or at least nothing else I wish to say. We just disagree. That’s fine. 

aaaaaaand this is why I spent $1000 getting my eyebrows microbladed. Whoever did that hack job to her face should be prosecuted. 

Can we talk about the eyebrows? I’ve been dying to talk about the eyebrows!

Her eyebrows are more believable than her apology. 

Go ‘head and get gone, Bettie. Ain’t nobody got time for your bullshit. That’s why Stephaine got half the vote, last week, and your ass got 11%. God don’t like ugly.

Why is one of them running away from the rest of her face tho!?

My friend said she looks like Noxzeema (Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo) and now I can’t unsee it.  Also......those eyebrows......ma’am.......

My keyboard will be draining over the kitchen sink since that’s where I spit out my coffee about the eyebrows.  

We need to file this under “YOU’RE NOT HELPING”.

I pray that her eyebrows forgive her also.

Spending a week off to wander around Jacksonville seems a little harsh. 

Why is Hooter’s listed with the rest of these? The defining feature of fast food is that it is made to go. Regardless of your personal feelings about the business model of Hooter’s, I think we can all agree that, if you are getting your food to go, you are missing the entire point of going to Hooter's.

Watch that guy’s instagram.