is it in my prerogative to get up, run over to the table, buzz the buzzer, and tell them to come back and look?

The irony of this comment.

Notes:

I love this. Please continue to be Jezebel’s on-the-spot reporter covering all things as related to your primo, Jebito Bush.

It’s the only time all season the Cubs will be anywhere near number 1.

Ghost of Ernie Banks: Let’s play two!

Then people like Maher will say ‘I told you so about Muslims’. There’s no winning.

Part of me wishes, deep inside, that Zayn would go Hard Ass Motherfucker on these assholes.

Wish I was there; I would’ve snatched it up. Greatest Bears quarterback of all time, and I’d only need to pay $100 for his autographed football? SOLD!

“Sure, I appreciate it, Dad. Giving me a football with my own autograph on it just seems a little odd.”

Paying $100 for a Jay Cutler-signed football and giving it to his son? Sounds like he’s backing the Pro-Cruelty Society as well.

Many balls from Cutler fall well short of their target.

That anonymous buyer is a better dad than Jay Cutler.

So it garnered about as much interest as “500 Days of Kristin”?

When will (white) people stop being so baffled by normal ass black people?

I’m genuinely amazed that he avoided the words “well spoken” in describing her. I’m also amazed that he didn’t name two white players as goals for her to be kept by.