Can I be a kicker yet? I want to see if I can bang out an entire 20 year career in a weekend just making sick kicks in front of disgruntled fans.

Meet me in Temecula, Lonzo.

Yup, sounds like he was practicing on Drew before his wife brings up his CC charges.

I would retire and move to a private island within 48 hours. If I woke up suddenly a billionaire, my sloth would go up by a million percent, I don’t care how naturally gifted of an athlete I am. You would never see me again.

Knew Matt Maloney when he was in college- hadn’t thought about him in a long time. His career in the NBA shows show crazy guaranteed contracts are. Now he’s no Bobby Bonilla, but he played virtually zero games after the 2001 season, and yet earned over $11 million dollars from 2002-2005.

I refuse to listen without knowing if the lyric “How’s my ass taste?” is contained therein.   

A lot of these pages are rebranded pages of dumb things that were created a decade ago. Back when Facebook put more focus on people specifying interests on their profiles, people would always like pages for dumb things like “going out of your way to step on a crunchy leaf,” etc. Those pages wracked up tons of…

As long as they’re both consenting adults, who tf are you to judge?

At first I thought this would be dumb. Because who puts th effort into the glottal stop required to properly pronounce “Kirk Cousins.”

Asked about Allen’s pronunciation of Cousins’ first name, a team spokesman said it sounded that way because of the Redskins president’s accent.

So you’re the captain of the no-fun-police. Got it

I hope they do this at the NFL draft so we can watch Goodell say “fine, we won’t do the draft anymore” and leave the stage in a huff

Since cats were revered in ancient Egypt, I wonder how the wearer of this wooden toe was able to keep it from being a scratching post?

Hey. That’s a Green Bay Packers owner you’re talking about. He’s earned the right to be that way

These animals wouldn’t exist without bullfighting, they are way to aggressive for any household use (they really resemble the auerochs, urus and those must have been something you do not want to meet). They live much longer than any animal in captivity and it’s debatable if they are being “tortured” (ie feel the pain…

And, of course, since TV directors have become farking stupid, we get to watch a moron clapping and a manager pointing to what we should have been seeing. Stupid, stupid, stupid camera work.

The only possible way of damaging a fuel pump when racing is repeatedly racing with very little fuel in the tank. This prolonged use with little cooling can theoretically can stress the pump from heat. Of course the same habit in street use would cook it just the same. Fuel pumps are on or off. What the engine does…

As Someone who has been a Mariner fan from birth, beating the Yankees is the only good thing ever to happen to the mariners, and you bringing it up in this context is a pretty good example of why I hate the Yankees, who have won approximately 20 percent all world series, ever. “You guys beat us in the divisional round…

Truth. I had surgery to fix a broken toe several years ago and lived for my pain meds. Didn’t abuse them, never asked for more, but I loved it. I had a hysterectomy last year and was actually LOOKING FORWARD to it because I knew the meds were coming. Again, took as prescribed and didn’t ask for more but I’d be lying…

You know who would never describe themselves as a “fireworks expert”? Any serious fireworker. This schmuck didn’t even know that the black powder coated rice hulls in the center of his pathetic “shell” was called “burst charge” and he sure as hell didn’t know that they were coated in flash powder and you’d nehhh-heh-HE…