I'm with you. It actually looks less like a dick and more like a sex toy - smooth design, flared base...

A well-deserved congratulations to you, Skaycog!

This car features an abundance of what is commonly known as 'patina'.

I actually discovered that my horn didn't work about a month ago as a Texas-plated F-150 tried to merge into me. A sudden swerve woke the driver up, though, and potential disaster was averted.

Agreed. The Avalanche was... distinctive... as well, but it wasn't out-of-this-world funky - and because of that, combined with its segment-busting popularity at a time of cheap fuel, it sold like proverbial hotcakes. The Mazda3 is another example - plenty of people make fun of it, but it's distinctive and charming in…

How about the Impala? That was only about five years ago.

"The C22 Nissan Van

If this is the Sam Johnson I think it is, you're hearing this from a man who had a 242 Turbo.

Sure, for half that. I'd appreciate it more, I'll admit, if the lettering on the windshield read "PENNSYLVANIA".

We traded Murilee for Davey, effectively; the new format's just an additional mound of feces on your freshly-cut grass.

Yep. This is the engine that Volvo helped design and then ran screaming away from (and wisely so).

Oh snap, Matt. I was considering saying the same thing more tactfully, but you actually met him, so I'm glad you did.

Not mine at all, but I appreciated it the first time I read it and stored it for future uses such as this.

I've spent the past two winters with my front windows (and, on my wagon, the sunroof) partly open and the heat blasting everywhere I go, wearing gloves if needed. Well, unless I have passengers; they don't tend to understand.

This fellow was asking $10k for his built-up '91 - with portal axles from a Volvo C303. This is what ten grand of lifted FJ80 looks like, not the truck above - Crack Pipe.

Square, safe, rear-drive Volvos with real bumpers wouldn't be that hard to produce, would they?

It took five days for him to be found? Well, better late than never, I suppose.

Just because it's gorgeous, rare, and well-kept doesn't make it worth more than five or six grand. Crack Pipe.

And this one's the SUV, clearly. Look at that front end.

And then there's this.