If I had the misconception that I could actually properly care for such a car, especially up here in New Hampshire, I'd likely be on the hunt for one. It's a good thing I have slightly more sense than that.

@NigelAstydameia: You were all correct - an Italian car would've been cool, but it wouldn't've been practical transportation.

@Rust-MyEnemy: Well, now he knows!

@WaffleCopter: Mmhmm. Regardless of where it's coming from, the point I didn't get across well enough is that the tattoos and unemployment shouldn't really be a factor here, and we should focus on the fact that she got totally smashed and destroyed the car in spectacular fashion. Wherever the money's coming from, here…

Damn, I need one of those TinyClocks™ for my 244 if I'm ever to install a tach. Always thought that side vent looked familiar, too.

@Peugeot 504 - the Car for Nigeria: I think Maggie was more of a blood-of-sacrificial-infants type of broad, and everyone knows you serve that warm.

@sailboatfool: I'd settle for cubic inches for eights (302, 304, 305, 318, and so forth up to 500) on up, but cc for fours and sixes ("Buick 231" doesn't sound that impressive, but a "3800" reminds ricers that Grandma's Buick has twice the engine they do).

@KAR120C: I, uh, mind if I borrow that photo for a few minutes? I'm just gonna run to the toilet right quick, yeah...

@KAR120C: I've been keeping an eye out for any 4wd example where the rust isn't terminal - I'd love to restore it somewhat and modify it with later grille/badging from a late-'90s Cherokee.

@Jude Butler: At least it had an Alfa engine/transmission/front suspension, even if they were from the Alfasud. Apparently said suspension didn't help its handling, though, so it's definitely a contender here.

The iCanyonado's problem is that it looks like ass no matter what trim level it has.

@ranwhenparked: Aye, that's what I tried to (and didn't really succeed) get across by mentioning the intended chronological order: that everyone assumed it was essentially that LeBaron.

The original Honda Crossroad.

@thebluepill: I suspect you're thinking of the Sebring Coupe - the Cougar was, as Cherokhemi said, a two-door Contour/Mystique/Mondeo with the same engines/transmissions. The Sebring (not the convertible, just the coupe) was indeed Mitsubishi-based.

@Allwheeldriveturbosportwagon: With steel? Oh, she'll love it!

@Buzzboy7: Oh, I love it. Who told you otherwise?

@CalHoon: ...and by giving it a uselessly-short bed, they even managed to strike off the fully-grown-adults-who-want-to-be-buried-in-their-pickup-bed-someday demographic.

@SRekauqh: Ahh, see, I have. Once.

@AustinMiniMan: I like your style. Makes up for someone beating me to the Taro.

@slimwhitman: '82 four-door Cougar (and wagon!) are a good one. I know some great examples outside of the US/Canada, though...