If I make it through this gig with both arms and a functioning liver I’ll call it a success.

Everyone! Give a warm Jalopnik welcome to Mack Hogan, our summer intern. He comes from CNBC and he has takes. My god, does he have takes.

Damn Uber is gonna put these guys out of business too

Buick TourX?

C) Don’t want kids and have perfectly acceptable cars that don’t need to be replaced with a car and a loan for it.

No you can’t.

The look on Patrick George’s face knowing his Camaro crash has been knocked down a notch on the list of worst GM street car crashes at Belle Isle:

He Patrick George’d it right up.

This is Jalopnik, not Arboristnik.

They don’t take that kind of approach in Texas (0:12).

Someone played a little too much Street Fighter as a kid

How fucking hard is it for a cop to park in front of him. They just keep following like ducks

That poor rear bumper. What a drag.

‘State’s Rights’ is a cornerstone belief of Republicans...

“Environmental Protection Agency”

Oh please, the people buying this thing think that climate change is a made hoax by the Chinese.

If the driver gets into a collision it’d be a Tyrannosaurus wreck.

I’d like to send a special fuck you to all the assholes who tried to “well actually” this poor woman and child in the initial post after I chastized another poster for blaming the victims

The victim blaming in the first article’s comments is disgusting.

Perhaps because without engines they’d never get off the ground?