“Under Ohio law, strippers are not allowed to touch patrons—unless it’s a family member.”

When I was a kid, the local drugstore had a counter of costume jewelry, including a ring with huge triangular cubic zirconias, and I wanted it so badly that I asked for it for Christmas. Upon receiving it, I put it on and went to school and told everyone I had gotten engaged to John Taylor, the bassist for Duran Duran.…

Wow, you know it’s a setup because 3 fucking cops we’re hiding in the back looking for anyway to catch her in the act.

I could hock it for a nice vacation tho 

And surprisingly cheap looking, considering the size of those diamonds.

We think it’s ugly. 

If this is true, it makes me love Avenatti even more! We’ve desperately needed a slimy brawler like him on our side for a while. Remember, Avenatti trained at the feet of the only other Democratic brawler out there, Rahm Emanuel. He's learned all the dirty tricks.

Or dads

Yeah, this is completely and terrifyingly politically motivated. She’s experienced at this and would know the the preposterous laws governing this state-to-state. The fact that three cops were there is a neon sign with letters twenty feet tall that reads “setup”

Yeah, it does seem quite odd and intimidating that there happened to be 3 cops at this strip club while she was present. I know Ohio is boring, but the cops should spread themselves out by going to the other strip club.

This is some real third world authoritarian shit and yet another bad sign of where this country is headed. Also, if you didn’t know whose side American law enforcement is on, now you know.

Literally, a great way to filter out half the population and contribute to deeper polarization.

Here’s the most annoying detail about dating profiles: they’re more aspirational than realistic.

Yeah, but on the other hand, I’m not gonna get along with someone who voted for Trump. I’ll never have sex with someone who would force a woman to stay pregnant against her will. I won’t be able to have a polite conversation with a guy who thinks the communities I work with are lazy freeloaders. I’m not gonna kiss a…

Right, I like how only the people who have a problem with racism, homophobia, etc. are the ones being divisive. 

Why you gotta hate on the cheddar bay biscuits though?

Never say you “hate drama.” You know who never has to point out how little they like drama, people who don’t cause any.

Putting no Trump supporters is shorthand for “no racists, no homophobes, no xenophones, no misogynists” etc.

Also, know that anytime you write “no drama,” it’s interpreted as “I will cause drama.”

When I was dating, the inability of the vast majority of men to write in basic English was a huge turnoff. I literally messaged my now-boyfriend because he wrote long, interesting paragraphs and everything was spelled correctly--I couldn’t really tell what he looked like based on the ridiculous picture he had put up.…