“I am a conservative, I like to keep what we have.”

The GOP has total control of 24 states (legislature and governor) compared to the Dems’ paltry 7 states.

Were President Obama eligible for a third term, we’d usher him back in the door so fast it would make the the gentleman from Iowa’s head spin.

Imagine if Barack actually tried to do half the things their paranoid fever dreams tell them he’s doing. Just imagine! An ARMY of Beyonces starting the race war!

“President Obama’s on his way out the door. He’s going to do everything he can think of to upset this society and this civilization.”

When can we put Barack on money? Too soon? That fine man has the regal head that just belongs on money.

I stiiiill haven’t forgiven Katy Perry for that god awful song called “UR So Gay” (she never apologized for its trashy-ass lyrics, damn it), so basically in my mind, they’re both sort of petty and horrible and stuck in their teens. This drama is like high school except instead of being stuck passing notes and writing…

I dunno. I say offensive or dumb shit a lot and I’m still sober. Perhaps she’s just a turd sometimes? It happens.

Oh, christ.

P-Daddy is available?

You expect her to shit in the same toilet every day like some kind of fucking peasant? Queen Bey needs many thrones.

Feeling very blessed that my vegan friends just like, live their vegan life and are normal and not insufferable idiots like these people.

I live in the SF Bay Area so I know approx. 9 million vegetarian/vegan people and I can tell you that only a select few of them are jerks about it. That is the result of my highly scientific study.

Praise be, after this horrible week that has reduced me to a wobbly mess of sadness and simmering rage, that we get a Vegan YouTube drama update post. A tremendous article with a delightful (terrible) new player in the vegan web wars. My main takeaway though, is that Freelee has an assistant. For what?!? Lugging…

This season of Inside Amy Schumer was very disappointing and why are they doing a clip show already?

petition to have bridget everett star in every show and movie ever

I love that Vogue considers Schumer’s totally unsurprising fondness for the New York Times to be a literary eccentricity requiring ethnographic contextualization:

And if anyone comes on saying that gun laws don’t work cos of this they can kindly go fuck themselves.

Oh, that’s been around for a long time. Back in the early 2000's, a speaker came to my college to talk about how eating meat and oppressing women were related. It was interesting, but I didn’t really buy it.

Here is actually a nicely reasoned article that outlines the arguments, as well as some problems with the…