I think the players’ actions are genuine. I think the league probably never really considered following through with enforcing fines but used the announcement to draw attention. League gets attention. Players convey their message. Win-win (minus the institutionalized violence against American communities of color).

I want to grab Taylor by the shoulders and MAKE HER STAND STRAIGHT.

While there he will frustrate the other aquarium dwellers by walking around at half the posted speed limit, insisting on going to the early-bird feeding time, and telling younger lobsters long, convoluted stories about how starfish used to act differently when he was molting up.

Actually scientists aren’t sure how long they can live. It’s theoretically possible they’re basically immortal, but very unlikely. The smithsonian article explains that ok probably not immortal but they we don’t actually know how long one can live.

If Mr. Melluso once caught a 26 pound lobster, why was he “skeptical” about someone claiming to have one that was 15 pounds?

Good job Joe! As much as I would love to rip into them, they can’t really be blamed for this, but I do know who SHOULD be blamed for this. Cough DNC cough.

I think the moment that you adopt an editing policy on these sort of leaks, you enter into some very dangerous waters (not that releasing confidential information isn’t already dangerous...).

It makes about as much sense as the, “My client wasn’t in his home state when he raped his victim, so it shouldn’t count” defense that Brock Turner’s and Brandon Vandenburg’s attorneys used.

I’m confused how using a fairly rudimentary phishing scheme should mean he shouldn’t serve any time? He’s too basic for prison!?!?!?!

English interrogator: Rudolph, I know your party is committed to the Aryan-ization through warfare of the whole of Europe, but we just heard you’re forcing women in the Nazi HQ typing pool to skip lunch breaks. So WHAT’S the DEAL with THAT?

It’s like auditing Nazi Party leadership (or the Politburo) for compliance with labor laws or asking about the monochromatic nature of Philip Morris/British Petroleum spokes-liars during their public health and environmental crises.

omg kinja stop changing, I thought I was having a fit or something

I cannot wait to get plastered and watch this movie. Letting my Anglophilia come out to play with something as outstandingly and intentionally gauche as this will undoubtedly be amazing. Awkward or not, I’m totally in.

The black bar above the page looks...not good. Denton needs to stop focusing on remixing the look of Gawker and focus more on fixing his site on mobile.

Thank god. When I went to cosmetology school, way back in the covered wagon days, I had terrible headaches from the nail products. You can imagine the odor when you have twenty students all working on sculpted nails at the same time. It was ghastly. They finally moved the manicuring program to another building because…

Dear people, stop praising Ted Cruz, what he did was 100% self-serving. He is setting up his next campaign. He has no conscience. Thanks.

I mean, I could send you a pretty extensive list. Please tell me more about my state.

mmmmmm I don’t think Kat was ever a burlesque performer?

But people in the party are so pissed at Cruz that he may have also ruined his chance for 2020. That’s what I hope, at any rate.

Cue the conservative dimwits screaming how undignified Michelle O is being and that we need someone to bring “class” back to the role of first lady.