FUN FACT: Due to religious-based dietary restrictrions, none of these athletes can eat Donald Trump.

You’re not alone in this, Kevin.

You were a teen girl enjoying Britney and Christina and you now have a 6-year-old kid?

I would like to know more.

1. Feed everyone a large dinner.
   

Whoever is telling you that is a liar and you should cease contact with them.

I’m a little surprised to see you left Belvedere off the tasting roster - that and Ketel One are preferred for me, but Absolut or Svedka will do in a pinch.

Jonathan Quick has a very enlightening view on the subject.

Meanwhile, at the new Muppets show:

Jaguar. For men who’d like handjobs from beautiful women they hardly know

Sony

I want to go to the bathroom.

It’s all part of the 12-step program. Just as soon as you’re 12 steps out of the building, they fire your ass.

The documentary of the same name, also shot in IMAX, also about the 1996 disaster because it was being filmed when those people died and its crew helped to save them, is wonderful. I’ll stick with it.

Vin Scully could do live play-by-play of the CIA waterboarding me, and I’d still find it pleasant and enjoyable.

The designated hitter.

So that picture is kind of the cutest thing I’ve seen in days.

Careful what you wish for. Hiking downhill with a pack is murder on the knees.