I’ve lived just about half my 45 years as an American outside of America, including in the Middle East. The State Department cautions for women are not patronising. I directly know one, and through friends know of other women who have disappeared while traveling alone in places where being a Western woman draws a lot…

I am perfectly comfortable doing housework,. having been at various times in my life a janitor, soldier, and hospital housekeeper. I know how to clean to the exactingly specific standard of an operating room.

However, that said, my wife has her own standard of what she wants for our household, and she’s not inclined to…

I was about to try to call out other parents, but I now know there will be no response. The vituperation I’ve received is evidence enough that your side is no more interested in actual debate on any issue than the wingnuts on the other side.

I’ve been personally attacked in very specific ways.

No one’s opinion has been…

And: “Plaatsvervangende schaamte (voelen)”: (be) ashamed/embarrased for someone else.” (Googled) just about sums about middle-class sense of privilege.

I still haven’t read a single response from a parent stating unequivocably that he or she would have absolutely no problems given his or her children sandwiches made by an HIV+ person.

The silence should be noteworthy, if nothing else, for those of you who don’t have kids.

This is the difference between logic and…

When Jezebel starts representing more than the perspective of MOSTLY white middle-class women, then we can talk about calming down. All I originally said is accepting a sandwich from a HIV+ person for my kids would give me pause. I still don’t think that’s a reaction from almost every other parent out there.

And I’ve…

And if Jezebel is truly feminist in meaningful ways, you as a community need to stop being so self-congratulatory about your disdain over the easy targets. Snark, shrill and rhetorical tricks only get you so far in actual outcome.

That literally meant nothing.

My SOUTH AFRICAN wife, who is technically COLOURED in South African terms (not that you would know what that means, but whatever, wiki it) and I are just trying to raise our kids the best we can here in the States. She’s African, not African-American. But again, distinction lost of you,…

Taking something personally is NOT the same thing.

And I’m sorry, but even with sweeping generalizations about Jezebel readers (which haven’t been refuted) I fail to see how I attacked anyone PERSONALLY.

I’ve tried to defend a pretty, what I think, is a nuanced opinion. I stated knowingly giving my kids prepared by a fast food service provider who is HIV+ would give me pause. I recognize the risks to my kids are marginal, but I cannot help my visceral response as a parent. That doesn’t mean I want to crucify anyone.

I…

I’m sorry, did you have anything of substance to add?

And how much exactly do you make per year, and how many mouths fo you have to feed? You didn’t exactly deny my categorization.

Going to bet you make a hell of a lot more than I do. I am going to bet you are middle-class or higher, white, and educated. Am I wrong?

Is there anyone responding to my posts to denigrate me making $33k a year or less like I do while raising two kids?

Other than saying I didn’t expect honesty (which I think has been vindicated, because I know damned well other parents do feel exactly the same) I didn’t say anything “snotty” in my original post.

The resulting personal attacks, the scolding? Over a relatively minor issue that more than a few of you would actually take…

I’ve stated I acknowledge the risk of transmission is small. But the risk is not zero.

I’ve said I acknowledge I’m probably wrong with my instinct to safeguard my kids from that risk. Yes, you cannot and should not shelter your kids from all risks.

If you are an emergency responder, you know that little risk /= no risk. And you are willing to take that risk to do your job. I agree it may not be “right.” Hell, 15 years ago I helped an HIV+ person who was in a car accident and his blood was all over me. The difference is I accepted the risks for myself, not…

I absolutely advocate for everyone getting paid sick days, especially people at active risk of disease transmission. For the same reasons why, for example, when a child has flu, we don’t send them to school, and the parent/guardian should get paid “care of dependent” leave.

White female midde-class SENSIBILITIES.

I knew I would take heat, so kudos to stepping up and delivering it, but sorry, I did make that distinction if you actually take a second to consider what I wrote. Gay people, in and of that categorical social identity cannot transmit anything life-threatening. HIV+ people can. What you are doing is a classic Straw…

Just curious, and I don’t really expect honesty, but how many parents here would feed their children sandwiches made by someone they knew was HIV positive?

It’s one thing for us to smugly occupy the moral highground when we risk nothing to do so. But when what we most care about in life is potentially at risk to even…