I tried to become a Shakeology huckster. Didn’t make any sales, hated every minute of it. Very appropriate to put it in Evil Week.

“Dream come true?” You want to watch yet another wealthy woman get paid to be wealthy and (your words) occasionally racist?

If I ever go full-DGAF I’m going to walk into a strip mall Tae Kwan Do dojo and throw down like the bad guy from a kung-fu flick.

I coach AAU basketball, ages 10-18. During an intersquad scrimmage between my 10-11 year olds we were a player short so I played with the rule that I wouldn’t shoot or dribble.

My wife uses it all the time - vegetable gelatin replacement.

Blah blah blah I’m happy for them but those quotes are god awful attempted poetry. Like real bad. Her heart is full of deep ocean minerals? What does that even mean??

Fuck it. Let’s go bowling, Dude.

+1 let the big dog eat. great comment was starting to get a bit long, but then you closed strong. 9/10

This is all a big misunderstanding. This was actually Brown University’s football team, and the player in question was part of the continuing education program. Easy mistake to make.

In related news, Trump is now stumping in Rhode Island because he wants to play with some 12-year-olds too.

Adults in youth football and a man-baby running for president. Good times America. Good times.

I’m 29 and I can not tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about going back and playing little league, not as a kid, but as an adult. I would fucking dominate and feel a power that I’ve never felt before. Imagine getting a 40mph floater right down the middle and taking it deep, rounding the bases while staring…

Wouldn’t pretty much everyone in eighth grade be too old for a “Pre-Teen Football League”?

It’s not just you.

He just made sure the teacher won’t get hit again and generally de-escalated future fights. He’s ok in my book.

Good teen, who will probably be treated like shit by that school’s disciplinary system.

Damn, a kick to the knee? She’s drunk fought before.

Vodka Sam is not impressed.

Viva @VodkaSamm!

Or maybe just smoke your weed and chill the fuck out.