I wish there was security camera footage because that is one gif I could watch (and use) over and over.

That dump should be fueled by a Chipotle run.

Her stare was more intimidating than any other coach’s bluster, yelling or profanity. What I always admired about Pat Summitt was her way of being herself with zero fucks to give if anyone liked it. She played hard, she worked hard, and she expected and demanded both from everyone around her. She was too busy living…

Considering mass shooters create an element of surprise, these wannabe heroes are more likely to die surrounded by their own splattered innards than spent shell casings.

And the only reason these Cuyahoga County rape kits were tested and not still gathering dust was because of the perseverance and diligence of two Cleveland Plain Dealer journalists, Rachel Dissell and Leila Atassi.

Dear Greta:

I was still watching the show during this particular season. I remember Danny as a generous, open-hearted guy. Daniel and Becky were adorable. I sensed there was more to Tracey than the bitch edit the show gave her. I began to absolutely hate Jillian when she used the childhood death of Rudy’s sister as an opportunity…

w00t! Happy news gif party!

water with maple syrup, juice with frozen berries and finally a mixture of apple cider vinegar, horse radish root, hot peppers, mashed onion, garlic and ginger root

Hate poached eggs because of the vinegar. The smell and flavor ruin the eggs.

MrChicklet’s cousin is a cigar addict. I do not use the term lightly. He smokes on average five cigars a day. Even before he lights them, he has them in his mouth suckling on them. Paging Dr. Freud. Because he goes in for quantity, he buys El Cheapos. Here’s how I describe what they smell like: Go down to a boat yard.…

Carpeting in the bathroom is gross. It’s basically underwear your bathroom never changes.

There’s an old saying about not getting into a wrestling match with a pig, because you only end up dirty and the pig likes it. What’s the point of Obama getting in the muck with these pigs at this point? It doesn’t help him or the Democrats, and the pigs (and their cheerleaders) get fired up by it.

I was a sportswriter for more than 10 years, and wrote a few long-form pieces. Long-form is hard. You have to plan, and keep your information organized, write a whole lot of words and make them interesting enough for readers to keep reading. Long-form takes time, focus, attention, and going back again and again to…

I wonder if they’ll have Alice Garvey and the baby battering ram in this one.

At least the hookers will provide a boost to the local economy.

Dammit, now I want some paprika bacon.

If Mr. ‘Murkan Sniper had practiced some common-sense gun control and not brought a veteran he believed to be troubled (at best) to a gun range for some rootin’-tootin’ shootin’, he and his BFF would still be alive. Mrs. Sniper should STFU and get back to counting her money (minus any she might still owe Jesse…

Congratulations and good luck at UPROXX!