Alright, Eddie, you've forced my hand on this one. Due to the possible Carroll-related subtext, I've had to consult Jervis on the answer, and all he could say was that the two were "always fighting in a particularly beastly manner - and all for nothing, the poor creatures." Then he mentioned how he absolutely hated…

"Fuck you, Al-Hazred, fuck your fuckin' pizza, and fuck your Black-ass Goat of the Woods!"

Why should I have to pay admission to three different 3-D animated movies when I can just dust off my old VHS copy of Tammy and the T. Rex and watch a teenage girl perform a striptease for a brain in a jar? Checkmate, Unkrich.

Jack White was actually stolen away by the Fair Folk as a baby, and the changeling raised in his stead has gone on to become a multi-millionaire recording artist. I can only assume the real Jack White has been either bewitched or eaten.

Daniel Stern getting a red-hot electrified doorknob shoved down his throat sounds like a laugh riot for the whole family.

They would've adapted Gerald's Game, but a deformed necrophile sadist wearing a necklace of severed penises and lurking at the foot of a woman's bed tends to destroy your film's chances at a PG-13 rating. Why, I have no idea.

There was, at one, point, a Ctrl+Alt+Del Flash-animated series on the Internet. Unsurprisingly for an artist of Tim Buckley's caliber, it was a ugly pile of shit that hemorrhaged money like a dying Ebola patient.

The question still remains, Edward, as to how you found Nina and Deidre working in that bondage club in the first place. You can be honest with me; I hardly think I'm in any position to criticize a fellow sadist of the intellectual persuasion.

Both are requirements for a witless high school football jock coasting his way through life?

Stick around. If you're not careful, you might just see yourself become the villain. Hey, hey, hey! (throws long shot)

"Man, we're fish food!" was the go-to catchphrase of 2004.

If only she could somehow be interrupted on the way up to the podium by a recording artist even more insufferable than she is. Alas, such a dream exists purely in the realms of fantasy.

If it makes you feel any better, the other team was in league with Satan.

To be fair, though, the movie raised some thought-provoking questions. What the hell was Fred doing out there?

Jeez, Lois, that's almost worse than the time I had sex with Snarf from the Thundercats!

Quoth David O. Russell: "You're a fuckin' grown-up! Act like a grown-up, you're not a fuckin' baby!"

If Alec Baldwin is really so charismatic, why would he even need to run for public office? He could just go the "Emperor Norton" route and turn into a lovable dandified eccentric, passing out bum checks at gourmet restaurants and conducting tours of his sovereign nation for spare change.

If I were considering killing you, dear boy - and I'm not saying I wasn't - why in God's name do you think the word "please" would make me reconsider? I'm not the frigging Dread Pirate Roberts, you know.

It gave John Glover's glorious hair the worldwide audience it deserved.

Zack Snyder: "Guys, can we make it so this spear heads out of a gun barrel in slow motion right at the camera, followed by a dolly shot of the sped-up reaction as it lodges straight in a guy's skull?"
Joe Ezsterhas: "Sure, if the spear has tits!"
Both: (start dancing in piles of money)