God Almighty, son, you are not getting out of this snakepit alive with an attitude like that.

For the record, Tasha never really liked the Kit Kats, and she doesn't understand why everyone always makes such a big deal about them.

Everyone just wants to be Dethklök, I guess.

I've got an appointment with Lobsters in a hour for badmouthing the legendary comedy duo of Bob & Ray. Can we reschedule?

Abby Elliott is the granddaughter of radio comedian Bob Elliott, who was funny in the sort of non-threatening way the 1950's appreciated, and the daughter of Chris Elliott, who is only kind of funny on Eagleheart.

I'll only laugh at your murder spree if it somehow contains a goofy, offbeat discussion of your naughty lady parts. Mostly because I have yet to learn the valuable lesson that females are sometimes intelligent and unrefined, just like normal people.

I'll admit, the entire thing was quite horrid, and the series as a whole is a blight on the market, but I found the insinuation that a bloody severed face can't be erotic even more insulting. In the proper context, with a woman of more… androgynous proportions involved, the results can be most stimulating indeed.

Yes, it's gotten quite dull around here without you, Eddie… especially after I nearly choked your wimpy alternate doppelganger to death. The poor fellow suffered a rather nasty amount of brain damage, and now he's just a drooling sluggard, confined to a wheelchair and fed through a IV drip - hardly the sort of…

When he's got a "belle" on his tail?

I'm predicting the ending turns out to be a load of Dean Koontz-style horseshit and claims that the aliens subjugating our planet were really the Antichrist. I don't even need to read the frigging book to call this one.

Due to Ted Nugent's conversion to hardcore neo-Republicanism over the years, Damn Yankees probably won't be re-appearing on the soundtrack. We'll have to settle for Chickenfoot, I suppose.

Marilyn Manson has a parasitic twin lodged in his brain, and the blood pressure has slowly warped his left pupil over the years. It's like the premise of The Dark Half, except it's not at all threatening or scary.

Go to shell, Michael Bay.

"The episode ends with Warren walking into his cell and meeting his massive new roommate, who looks like he’s ready to make someone his new bitch."

You beat up the False Facers? Christ, Eddie, Sionis is going to be furious. Well, more than usual.

Not if he can rouse the gang's spirits with a lively tap-dancing number!

"Go crazy"?

The Agoraphobia & Eight-ball Channel: your one-stop source for the addictions of white-trash America, 24 hours a day.

I never made any claims about his lineage, sir. I merely drew a link between the fiercely nationalist history of an entire country and a beloved children's author. Kindly check my sentence parsing.

Fun fact: Roald Dahl, much like most Scottish people, was a lifelong bilious racist.